Why You Feel “Not Good Enough” and How to Break Free From Self-Doubt

Why Do I Always Feel Not Good Enough?

Does this sound familiar? No matter how hard you try (and you really are trying—to the point of overwhelm and exhaustion!), you just can’t seem to shake the feeling of not being good enough.

You tell yourself: “Everyone else seems to have it together, everything under control—why can’t I?”

If these thoughts are constant, they may be impacting your life in some of the following ways:

• You lie awake at night re-living conversations or experiences, worrying about what you should have said or done, and feeling exhausted the next day.

• You snap at your partner, family, friends, or colleagues—and any feedback at work feels like criticism, even when it’s constructive.

• You don’t go for the promotion you know you want.

• You cancel plans at the last minute because you’ve overcommitted, telling yourself “It’s okay—nobody will miss me anyway.”

• You feel guilty that you haven’t achieved what you think you “should.”

• You procrastinate, leaving you feeling stuck, even when it’s something that could bring you joy.

• Your self-care slips—you know what would help, but you just can’t find the motivation or energy.

• Inside your head, on repeat, you hear: “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I do better? Why can’t I be normal like everyone else?”

How Feeling Not Good Enough Affects Daily Life

You may think it’s just you—but you’d be surprised how many people carry these feelings of not being good enough.

I still have days when these thoughts creep in—especially when I’m stressed, tired, or challenging myself with something new.

And sometimes, it’s no wonder we feel this way:

• Childhood experiences and old messages can stay with us for life.

• Social media shows us only the “perfect” parts of others’ lives, fuelling comparison and self-criticism.

“You are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Maya Angelou

The truth is, struggling with thoughts of not being good enough doesn’t mean you aren’t enough—it often means you care deeply about the person you want to be.

It may simply mean you’ve lost sight of what makes you wonderfully unique—your values, skills, and attributes—who you are beyond the doing and achieving.

Is It Normal to Feel Not Good Enough?

Yes—it’s a common human experience. Just because you feel this way now doesn’t mean you always will.

What if you could shift your perspective and start valuing yourself as you are? Imagine how different you might feel—perhaps calmer, lighter, less guilty, or even content.

A Simple Tip to Overcome Self-Doubt and Self-Criticism

One way to start is by changing the way you speak to yourself.

Talk to yourself like you would to your best friend. When self-doubt shows up, pause and ask: “If my best friend felt this way, what would I say to them?

Chances are, you’d be much kinder, more supportive, and more encouraging than the way you usually speak to yourself.

That shift in inner dialogue can make a huge difference in how “good enough” you feel.

“You have been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

Learning Self-Compassion: Being Kinder to Yourself

Not feeling good enough is something many of us experience from time to time—but if it becomes constant, it can take over your thoughts, actions, and relationships, leaving you stuck and unfulfilled.

You don’t have to carry this alone. With support and new perspectives, it’s possible to reconnect with your worth and feel good enough just as you are.

Contact me at: joanne@joanneosheacounselling.co.uk

Call or text: 07551 195435